Binge Eating

The weather is becoming colder and the holidays are approaching which means stress levels can be increasing and mood can be decreasing, also known as the infamous “winter blues.” It is not uncommon for our moods to slightly decline considering the sun goes down around 4pm and the wind chill feels like -0 for months on end. Keeping this in mind, it is very easy to use food as way of comfort during these winter months. Many people have a love/ hate relationship with food. We need food for survival but there is a lot of controversy in terms of how much and what people should eat. If you find that you struggle to have a good relationship with food, this blog will give you some pointers to try out. It is important to note that a good relationship with food is being defined as being able to practice intuitive eating habits (listening to hunger cues) and not having an excessive amount of guilt after eating. 

People struggle with different forms of eating habits. In this particular blog we will discuss binge eating behaviors. A binge is defined as eating an excessive amount of food in one sitting until uncomfortably full (for example an entire gallon of ice cream and an entire family sized bag of chips etc). At times during a binge individuals will feel “out of control” and eat anything in sight. Binges can look different for different people and be caused by a variety of things, situations, people, etc. At times it is difficult to control the outside factors that may contribute to the trigger of the binge but the purpose of this blog is to gain a sense of control when there are thoughts of wanting to binge. 

When the thought of wanting to binge comes to mind, some people may think “there is no stopping once I have that thought” but with accountability and preventative measures in place there can be. Here are some tactics to use when it comes to binge eating behaviors that may be helpful.

1. Try to schedule out meals throughout the day. A general diet to follow is 3 meals 3 snacks a day. The more routine based and consistent your diet is the less likely you are to binge considering your body is not going without food all day. At times binges occur due an individual restricting food intake which causes the body to go into starvation mode, therefore when food is introduced it goes into crisis mode and feels like it needs to store as much as possible as it is not sure when it will get food next. Please consult with a dietician as to what calorie intake you should be at for your body type.

2. We all know it is cheaper to buy in bulk, so keep doing that as it is cost efficient. An added step is to purchase some Ziploc snack bags. Break down those family sized bags once you get home from grocery shopping so that when you go to snack you are not reaching your hand in a family sized bag where you can’t control how much you take, rather you are taking an already portioned out sample of what you purchased. This will aid in decreasing food intake.

3. If you know that you binge certain things (such as sweets or salty snacks) decrease how much you have in the house if any at all. This will aid in using other coping skills to assist in emotion regulation rather than turning straight to food as it is not easily accessible in your household.

4. Think before you eat. This may seem like a simple step but it may be one of the hardest. Within this method, you will weigh out the pros and cons of engaging in the binge by separating your logical mind and eating a distorted mind. Your eating distorted mind is telling you that this binge is what you need to feel better or that you already suck so why not just self-sabotage even more? Yet your logical mind knows that if you engage in that behavior you will feel extreme guilt after and have to work twice as hard to get to the point you were at before the binge. You may already have the awareness of the cycle you fall into so bring awareness to that by weighing the pros and cons as that may be helpful to prevent the binge from taking place.

These are some of the many different tactics that are out there to aid in binge eating behaviors. If you feel like you need assistance, don’t hesitate to reach out to a counselor as they will be able to provide further assistance. Eating disorders are very complex and have many different layers that go into them that are not always easy to break down. Many individuals struggle with their relationship with food, body, and emotion. You are not alone in this battle and can reach out today for assistance. 

Written by: Daniella Raimondi, LPC 

Talking to your Children about the COVID

Everywhere you turn, there is a discussion of the COVID-19 virus and how it is affecting our community. As these conversations are taking place in a public manner, our children are exposed to an extensive amount of frightening information. Such details that are being communicated include the rising number of individuals who have contracted COVID-19, the closure of schools, the lockdown of large cities, and the number of individuals who have passed away due to COVID-19. As a parent, we must help our children feel in control in these uncertain times, help them manage their fears and confusion while facing our own doubts. Below are five ways we can discuss this COVID-19 virus with our children.

1. Remain calm and reassuring 

First, we must remain calm and reassuring for our children. We must be mindful of what we are saying to them and how we say it as our children can pick up on our tones, mannerism, and body language. If they see that we are panicking, they will believe they should be doing the same.

2. Provide information that is accurate and honest 

Next, we must ensure that our children are receiving information that is age-appropriate and truthful. As the internet and social media often provide information that is not always accurate, we must become smart consumers of the information we are given. If your child asks you a question that you do not know the answer too, be honest and say that you do not know.

3. Give your children space to discuss their fears 

If your children find the information you provided is scary or fearful, it is crucial that they feel they can openly share their fears and worry. Exploring these thoughts and concerns is important as your child might be worried about questions such as “what if I get sick” or “what if mom or dad gets sick?

4. Teaching children everyday actions to reduce the spread of germs 

We must remind our children about simple steps that can be taken to reduce the spread of germs. Such reminders include staying away from people who are sick or coughing or sneezing into tissue can go a long way. We can remind our children how to wash our hands properly and how we can make the process fun, such as singing their favorite song. Lastly, we can demonstrate this process through activities like this one: https://youtu.be/3TJJNsUmDQ0.

5. Make yourself available to listen and talk 

Ensure that your child knows they can come to you and talk about any questions or concerns they might have. This can be done by setting aside time for you and your children to speak as well as spend time together and complete fun activities. 

During this challenging time, having an open and honest conversation with your child can make a difference. If you or your child need assistance during this time, please reach out to a mental health professional as we are currently providing online telehealth sessions, phone sessions, and in-person sessions.

By: Mary Collins, LPC, CADC

Training your brain to love your flaws: Using cognitive dissonance to your advantage

If you’ve ever taken a psychology class, the term “cognitive dissonance” might sound familiar. It is the discomfort an individual feels when they believe two concepts, values, or thoughts that directly contradict one another. This discomfort can also be felt if an individual does something that contradicts their own values. For example, if Suzy thinks she is a good person but she made fun of someone, then she might feel some sort of personal mental discomfort, because her action contradicted her belief about herself.

To cope with this sense of discomfort, many of us might try to rationalize our actions so as not to be out of line with how we think of ourselves. For example, Suzy might say that the person she was making fun of was being mean to her earlier, and therefore he “deserved it.” In thinking this way, Suzy might feel better about herself, despite having made fun of him.

It’s really a very interesting concept, if you think about it. Our brain tries to self-correct our own way of thinking so we can get back “in line” with our beliefs if we ever “fall out” of line.

Okay, psychology review/lesson over. Now, how can we use this to our advantage?

Whether you have low self-esteem in general or there’s just one, two, (or a handful) of things you don’t like about yourself, you might have the conscious or unconscious thought: “I really hate my ____.” Perhaps you even think this thought every time you see this feature on yourself, so the message is pretty engrained in your brain. The good news is, we have power to change our thoughts using thought stopping techniques, and thanks to cognitive dissonance, we have the power to change how we feel about things.

Here’s how: Let’s say Suzy has freckles and she hates them. Every day she looks in the mirror and thinks “I really hate my freckles.” One day Suzy wakes up an decides that she doesn’t want to hate her freckles anymore, so she employs some thought stopping techniques—anytime she has a negative thought about her freckles, she says “STOP” out loud, and instead, replaces that thought with a new one: “I really love my freckles.” She does this every day until she no longer has negative thoughts about her freckles, and when she sees them, she continues to think “I really love my freckles.” Eventually, the new thought is the one “burned” in her brain, and the old one is no more.

Right now you might be thinking, “okay, but where does cognitive dissonance come into play?” When Suzy first started the thought stopping and introducing the new thought, her brain had two conflicting messages: “I hate my freckles” and “I really love my freckles.” Because of cognitive dissonance, Suzy’s brain is really scrambling, because it can’t possibly believe the two contradictory thoughts at the same time. When Suzy continues to repeat the message “I really love my freckles” over and over again, her brain has to change its wiring to cope with the uncomfortable feelings it experiences by having the two contradictory thoughts. To put itself back “in line” with the new thoughts it is being bombarded with (“I really love my freckles”), Suzy’s brain starts to have more positive feelings about her freckles.

Perhaps the long explanation sounds confusing and makes the matter more complicated, but the basic message is this: If we introduce a new, positive message in our brain that contradicts an old, negative message we have, with enough repetition our brain will begin to believe the new message.

Be patient with yourself in trying this. Remember that repetition of the new and positive message is key. Eventually your brain will start to adjust to—and accept—the new message, while pushing the old one out. This is because the two conflicting messages can’t both be accepted by your brain at the same time, and your brain will be forced to start agreeing with the message you are repeating every day.

Happy brain rewiring!

By: Lauren Buetikofer, LPC

The 1-2-3’s (and “4”) of Thought Stopping: How to Stop Your Negative Thoughts from Snowballing

If you’re like most people, you probably find yourself on the occasional “hamster wheel” of negative or unhelpful thoughts; that is, the thoughts just keep going around and around and around and around until you’re so dizzy and exhausted that you just about fall down from thinking about it. Even worse: your thoughts snowball. It start off as a small, somewhat negative or unhelpful passing thought, but then it gets a little bigger, occupies a little bit more of your mental energy and time, and continues to grow until it’s all consuming, self-defeating, and downright exhausting.

Many of my clients relay to me this all-too-common cycle of thinking and how it almost inevitably ends in a panic attack, a sleepless night, or an unproductive day filled with nothing but worry. When I hear this, my first line of defense is always Thought Stopping.

As you can probably gather from the name, the act of Thought Stopping is exactly that: putting a stop to all those unhelpful, negative thoughts. As with anything, it’s easier said than done, but with enough practice and consistently applied application, you’ll be well on your way to getting off your own hamster wheel.

Step One: Catch the negative thought. Okay, this seems really obvious, but it needs to be said. Throughout a day we all have thousands of thoughts, whether we are aware of them or not. No, I’m not about to go off on a long and drawn out Freudian “unconscious thought” tangent, but the statement is worth exploring. How long into your negative thought cycle are you until you realize you’re back on the hamster wheel? For some people, this step is easy. If it is, high-five to you and move onto the next step.

 If it isn’t, try keeping a simple “thought log.” You can practice this in five-minute increments, or you can track your thoughts throughout the day. For instance, take 5 minutes out of your day to write down every thought you have in a time span of five minutes. It can be as simple as “I’m hungry” or “I’m thinking about this activity” to as deep and complex as “I’m not really sure what I’m doing with my life.” This five-minute kick-starter activity will help you to become more aware of the thoughts you have, and will hopefully help you to identify your negative thoughts as they crop up.

To track your thoughts throughout the day, keep a sheet of paper or a little notebook with you, and jot notes on your thoughts anytime you’re aware of any thoughts you have. Again, they can either be profound or simple. This act of acknowledging your thoughts and taking note of them will bring awareness to the thoughts you have throughout the day, and will increase your likelihood of catching your negative thoughts before they snowball.

Step Two: Stop the negative thought. I must be joking, right? Seriously though, we need to cut that sucker off until it snowballs into something unmanageable, right? There’s a number of ways to go about cutting off your thoughts in their tracks. Whenever I teach this to my client, I always make the “chopping” gesture with my hands (you know the one- left hand flat, palm up, and parallel to the floor, right hand perpendicular to the left and comes down the middle of the left in a sort of “chopping” fashion), and I’ve done this so much so that now any time I think of thought stopping I automatically think of that gesture. For me, I might either think of that gesture or actually do the gesture if I wanted to stop a negative thought. When I teach this method to kids, I tell them to think of a huge red stop sign- one so big that they can’t see anything else. Some people like to say “STOP” out loud or in their head… anything to distract your mind from continuing down the path of your negative thought.

Step Three: Challenge the negative thought. In most cases—not all, but most—our negative thoughts are irrational, unhelpful, and biased toward one side of the argument. In this third step I challenge my clients to think of the evidence that doesn’t support their negative thought. For example, if a client tells me they feel like they don’t have a support system, I’ll ask them to challenge that thought and find that evidence that the thought isn’t true. When they think about it, they might say, “Well, I do have my one friend who says she's always there if I need her, but I’ve never actually tried leaning on her for support when I need it.” If they continue thinking on the matter, they might also add something to the effect of “my co-workers are always asking how I’m doing, but I never actually open up to them.” Okay, good. Now we’re getting somewhere. In most cases, there’s some counter-evidence to our irrational, negative thoughts, and we just need to dig a little deeper to find it. Keep pulling up evidence that negates your negative thought until you don’t feel its effects anymore. Once we acknowledge the counter-evidence and “let it marinade,” then suddenly our original, negative thoughts don’t have much ground to stand on.

Step Four: Change the thought and move on. This is the point that you jump off your hamster wheel. In step three, we’ve put the negative thought to rest by knocking down some of its validity. At this point, it’s time to move on. Think of something else unrelated. Think of something happier, more helpful.

If the thought crops up again, repeat the steps until it’s laid to rest yet again. Thought stopping isn’t always perfect, and it certainly isn’t a “once-and-done” sort of deal. It takes practice and persistence. The more you do it, the more likely you are to find it to be a successful tool to add to your box of coping mechanisms. Give it a few weeks and see if it’s a good tool for you. Good luck!

If you have questions about thought stopping, application of this skill in your life, or to schedule an appointment to explore more useful coping mechanisms to help you manage, please don’t hesitate to contact me at lauren@lbcounseling.com

Written by: Lauren Buetikofer, MA, LPC