Signs Your Child Might Be Self-Injuring 

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The thought that your child might be self-injuring is frightening and can be alarming. It can often be difficult to understand why your child is or wants to self-injure. The good news is that by understanding causes and signs, early interventions and help can take place. 

What is Self-Injury?

Self-injury, or self-harm, is the act of hurting oneself physically without the intent to end one’s life. It is often a sign of emotional distress in which it is often used as a coping skill to feel better. 

Causes of Self-Harm

Today adolescents face many challenges and often do not have the coping skills to deal with those distressing emotions. Challenges teenagers and children face today may include both internal and external factors such as being excluded by peers, high academic expectations, low self-esteem, history of trauma or abuse, expectations by social media, trouble making friends, history of alcohol or substance abuse, difficulties within the family unit and feelings of hopelessness. 

Used to Cope 

Self-injuring may bring temporary relief used to manage underlying pain and emotions. The relief can act as a reinforcing behavior, which ultimately provokes further self-injury to deal with painful feelings. 

Signs of Self-injury 

  • Unexplained cuts, scratches, burns, bruises or bite marks

  • Wearing long sleeves in warm weather

  • Talking about self-injury

  • Wounds that aren’t healing

  • Increased isolation from peers and family

  • Blood stains on clothing

  • Becoming withdrawn and spending more time alone in their room

  • Anger outbursts

  • Wearing numerous band aids

  • Suspicious looking scars

Next Steps  

If there is a discovery that your child is self-injuring the first step is to seek help. Self-injury is a serious behavior and the behavior should not be ignored for what might be a serious mental health issue. These steps usually include an evaluation, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and family therapy.  

To start, have your child evaluated by an experienced mental health professional. This mental health professional will work with them to find out the reasoning behind the self-injury and what emotional difficulties are being experienced. Examples of mental health professionals include licensed counselors, social workers and psychologists. 

In most cases, these professionals will utilize cognitive behavioral therapy to challenge negative and distressing thoughts and to recognize those patterns while shifting them.  Dialectical behavior therapy is also an effective approach where your child will learn to tolerate uncomfortable feelings which can include anxiety, anger and rejection without the want to self-harm. 

Family therapy is also a beneficial route to go if there are issues within the family unit which could include a recent divorce, fighting, job loss or sickness or death of a loved one. It is important families try to be open and supportive. Adolescents often hide feelings and emotions and understanding that can be the first step to catch self-injurious behavior. 

Crisis Resource

If the crisis is life threatening, call 911. 

If you are in crisis and it is not life threatening and need to talk to someone text HOME to 741741 to reach a volunteer crisis counselor.

Educational Resources  

https://childmind.org/article/what-drives-self-injury-and-how-to-treat-it/

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/is-your-teenage-daughter-self-harming-7-signs/

https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/childrens-mental-health/self-harm/

Written By: Danielle Sturm, Mental Health Counselor