What Is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)?

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a form of counseling treatment used to help individuals explore  and understand how their thoughts and feelings influence their behaviors. During counseling treatment the individual learns how to identify and change destructive thinking patterns that negatively impact their behaviors and lives. CBT is used to treat various mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, addictions, mood disorders, phobias, self-injury, emotional eating and weight loss.

For example, a teen girl gets into a fight with her friends at school. She thinks that the reason she got in a fight with her friends is all of her fault because I told my friend I didn't like her clothes and becomes sad. She then self-injures because she feels like its all her fault and she should punish herself. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy would be implemented to help the teen identify her irrational thinking pattern ("I got into a fight with my friends and it is all of my fault.") When she thinks about her irrational thought she begins to feel sad. When she feels sad (feeling) she self-injures (behavior) herself. Once the teen can identify her thoughts, she can learn to reframe her negative thinking patterns with a less destructive thoughts.

A licensed counselor can help you learn ways to change your negative thinking patterns and destructive behaviors. To learn more about our Cognitive Behavioral Therapy services at Life Balance Counseling, please call our office at 888.234.7628 or contact us online.

Finding Peace During The Holidays When Your Loved One Has Passed

One of the biggest challenges of grief is allowing yourself to enjoy the holidays when a loved one has passed away. You may be thinking "the holidays are not going to be the same," "how are we going to keep our traditions the same?" These are all thoughts that individuals have when they have lost someone important to them.  You may be asking yourself, does it ever get easier during the holidays when a love one has passed away? Whether this is your first or fifth year without a loved one during the holidays, each year presents new emotions and challenges. 

Accepting that your love one won't be with you during the holidays is a difficult task, but they would want you to be able to find peace and enjoy yourself. One important thing is to give yourself permission to change traditions. If your loved one use to have a holiday at their house, it is okay for another family member to have the holiday. Don't isolate yourself at home because you can't have the same tradition you use to. Identify your thoughts and feelings about having the holiday at someone else's house and try your hardest to make peace with the change.

Be honest with your friends and family about the challenges you are experiencing in regards to your loved one being gone during the holidays. If they are aware of what you are experiencing they will be more understanding of your thoughts and feelings.   

Involve your passed love one during your holiday celebration. Create a piece of them (picture, basket, candle, stocking, ornament, etc) and have a moment where you can talk about the loved one. This will help you feel like they are with you and also keep their memory alive. You can talk about your favorite memories of them during the holidays.

Have an escape plan. As hard as it is, push yourself to go to a holiday party you are invited to, but have a plan to leave if you are having a difficult time. It is okay to feel sad about your loved one not being there for a holiday they use to be at. Communicate with your friends and family before the holiday and let them know that you are going to do your best to stay at the event, but if it becomes too difficult you will need to leave.

Give yourself time and the ability to feel joy and happiness during the holidays. It takes time to accept that your loved one is not around for the holidays. The grief and mourning process takes time and it is okay. It doesn't make you less strong to experience these emotions. Sometimes people feel bad for experiencing joy and happiness during the holidays when a loved one has passed. Your loved one would want you to move on with your life and enjoy the holidays. As challenging as the holidays can be, be mindful of your thoughts and feelings and identify your limits. You can only do so much.

If you feel like you are struggling with grief and are unsure of how to cope with the challenges of your loved one's passing, contact a counselor. Life Balance Counseling in Schaumburg has a Certified Grief Counselor on staff. Please feel free to call our office at 888.234.7628 or contact us online.

Does The Snow Make You Feel Anxious Or Depressed?

The snow has begun to fall in Chicago... Are you prepared for the snow and colder temperatures? Do you feel like you are beginning to isolate yourself and stay inside? Are you starting to feel sad or depressed with this winter weather?

Finding a balance during frigid temperatures and snow can be quite challenging. Push yourself to go outside and hit the gym even if it is cold outside. Go to the stores and run your errands like you usually do. The more we sit around, the more time we have to think and become anxious or depressed. Some individuals may feel anxious about driving in the snow. Be safe and remember you are in control of your own driving. You can't control other drivers but you can control yourself. If you start to panic, pull over, do some breathing exercises until you feel it is safe enough to drive. Take some time to become mindful of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors during certain weather and season changes.

If you feel like your stuck in a anxious or depressive state that is impacting your functioning and ability to live a fulfilling life, find a counselor in your area. If you are seeking a counselor in the Schaumburg area, call Life Balance Counseling at 888.234.7628. Stay warm!

Understanding The Stages Of Grief & Loss

Grief and loss is a very difficult time for children, teens, adults and families. All people grieve differently and go through the stages of grief in a different order. Some people might not experience a specific emotion (anger or sadness) that they feel they should be feeling. Everyone grieves at their own pace and you have to let it run its course. Some people are re-triggered during certain times of the year (holidays),  by listening to a particular song, movie, or anything that reminds you of your loved one. It is okay to feel this way during these times. Just because it has been 5 years since a love one passed away, doesn't mean you shouldn't still go through phases where you grieve.

Being educated about the stages of grief can help you understand the emotions you are experiencing. What you are experiencing is very real and can be challenging to cope with at times. The goal is for you to be mindful about the thoughts and feelings you are experiencing and learn the tools to help you healthfully manage your thoughts and feelings.

Stages of Grief (Kubler-Ross)

1. Denial & Isolation: The first reaction is to isolate yourself and deny the fact that a love one has passed away. It is difficult to experience such deep emotions so our defense mechanism is to numb the pain by denying the reality of our loss.

2. Anger: As denial starts to wear off, some individuals may start to feel angry that the loved one is not around. They may feel angry at the deceased depending on their life's circumstances. It is okay to feel angry but you have to be able to identify when your anger is out of control and negatively impacting your life and relationships.

3. Bargaining: Feelings of helplessness and vulnerability start impacting our thoughts. We may think, "if we had gotten medical attention sooner then the person wouldn't be gone," or "if I was a better daughter, my dad wouldn't have passed away." Some individuals may try to make a deal with a higher power to bargain that they don't let your love one pass away or ask them to trade places with the deceased.

4. Depression: feelings of sadness and regrets in relation to the loss. Wishing you had more time with your loved one may cause feelings of sadness. Having moments of crying when thinking about your loved one is all a normal grief reaction.

5. Acceptance: reaching this stage is a blessing in the grieving process. Not everyone reaches this stage and may get stuck in the denial, anger or depression stages. Death can be one of the most challenging things to accept. Accepting that your loved one is gone comes with various emotions. Some people feel guilty that they have accepted the death. The goal of the grieving process is to keep the good memories of the deceased alive.

Coping with loss varies for each individual and is a difficult process. Reach out to your family and friends if you need their support. If you feel like you are struggling with grief and loss challenges, Life Balance Counseling in Schaumburg can help. To learn more information about grief counseling, click here. Please call our office at 888.234.7628.