Setting Boundaries During A Pandemic

One of the most critical aspects of any relationship is setting boundaries. Boundaries are guidelines, rules, or limits that are tools to clarify how we want to be treated and how you want others to behave around you. Boundaries exist in multiple ways, including emotionally, physically, financially, and sexually. The benefits of setting boundaries are endless, including ensuring your needs are met, fewer arguments, reducing resentment, and having the time and energy to partake in self-care behaviors. Setting these boundaries is often challenging to do, and in our current pandemic, it has become more challenging. But, if we fail to set these boundaries, the result is often us feeling mistreated or used, negatively impacting our overall well-being. 

As our everyday routines and patterns have been significantly interrupted by the pandemic, so have our rules and limits we once set. For example, our work boundaries have become blurry as most of us are still working from home and will be doing so for the foreseeable future, which has caused many challenges, such as never detaching from our work. Before the pandemic, we could go to our offices and come home to an environment that was purely for relaxing and enjoyment. Whereas now, our workspace and relaxation space has merged, making it difficult to ‘turn off” either of these modes.  

We also have experienced trying to set boundaries about issues most of us have never dealt with before. For example, we must determine who we are comfortable seeing in person. If we require those, who come into our homes to wear masks. If our children should go to school in person and even if we set a limit on the amount of time, we engage with information that is related to COVID. 

Setting boundaries can take place in three simple steps. First, we must assess and define what our needs are because if we are unsure of what we need, it will be impossible to communicate this to others. It is important to note that our needs include our emotional needs, such as feeling loved, happy, and at peace. When assessing this, it is often useful to think about what boundaries currently exist and how they can be improved or altered. 

After defining what is important to us, we must effectively communicate this to others. To effectively communicate our needs, we must state them in a clear and concise manner, so there is no confusion or misunderstanding. While communicating, we should be thoughtful and calm and be aware of our body language. We should not over explain these boundaries as everyone has the right to determine what they do and what they do not do, and this should be respected.

The last step in setting boundaries is setting consequences. Setting consequences for the violation of these boundaries is one way in which we can pave the path for a positive outcome. By setting consequences, an individual will have a clear understanding of what will happen if they do not respect the boundaries we have made. If you are having difficulty setting boundaries with loved ones during this pandemic, please be sure to reach out to a mental health professional. Therapists at Life Balance Counseling are currently offering telehealth sessions, phone sessions, and in-person sessions with extra precautions. 

By: Mary Collins, LPC, CADC

Combating Mask Anxiety

Going into the year 2020, no one could have imagined that the newest fashion trend would be a face mask. However, they have officially become a part of our everyday lives and will continue to play a role in our lives for the foreseeable future. Adjusting to wearing a mask every day has brought great anxiety to many, especially those who have a history of anxiety disorders, panic disorders, or claustrophobia. 

A recent NPR article discussed how N95 respirators could block up to 95% of airborne particles, surgical masks block up to 75% of airborne particles, and cloth masks can block up to up to 50% of airborne particles. However, this blocking of airborne particles should not be confused with blocking our air supply. According to Dr. Christopher Ewing, wearing a standard face mask does not lower a person’s oxygen level; however, it may alter our breathing patterns as we are attempting to compensate for the discomfort that we feel. Further, our breathing patters may be altered as we are trying to prevent things such as fogging up our glasses. With such worry and uneasiness with these changes, we must understand and employ coping mechanisms to combat anxiety related to wearing a mask. 

First, we must explore different types of masks to determine which is most comfortable for us to wear. We can explore this by wearing the masks around our house for a short period, allowing us to become used to the feeling of wearing a mask. Wearing the mask around our house for a short period of time is also useful as it allows us to expose ourselves to the item that provokes our anxiety. Still, we are able to maintain safety as we will not be exposed to anyone if we must take off the mask because the anxiety becomes too overwhelming. 

Second, we must challenge our anxious thoughts about our masks. During this unsettling time, one thing we do have control over is if we wear our masks. Wearing masks allows us to take control of our health and the health of those we are in contact with. We must remind ourselves that wearing face masks is a preventive health measure that keeps us safe and does not pose any adverse health outcomes. 

Lastly, we must focus on our breathing. To avoid shallow breathing that may occur when we are trying to make ourselves more comfortable, we should concentrate on diaphragmatic breathing, also known as belly breathing. This technique is often taught during yoga and meditation practices and means that we can feel our belly rise and fall with our breath, rather than feeling our chest rise and fall with each breath. Diaphragmatic breathing has excellent benefits, including lowering our heart rate, blood pressure, and helping us relax and lower the effects that cortisol may be having on our body when we active our fight or flight system. Last but not least, please be sure to reach out to a mental health professional if you are facing anxiety that becomes overwhelming or unbearable. Therapists at Life Balance Counseling are currently offering telehealth sessions, phone sessions, and in-person sessions with extra precautions. 

By: Mary Collins, LPC, CADC