Surviving the Holidays with an Addiction

Not only does the start of the holiday season bring great joy, but significant stress. This stress can be a result of many things including a lack of time to prepare for the holidays or the pressure to give the perfect gift. These stressors can be difficult to navigate for anyone, but for an individual who is fighting an addiction, these stressors can be damaging as it may lead to a relapse.  The holiday season is a high-risk situation for individuals struggling with an addiction as relapse rates have been seen to spike over 150%. Factors that may play a role in relapses during the holidays include holiday blues, interpersonal conflicts, and financial concerns.

As there is an increased risk for relapse over the holidays it is crucial to be as prepared as possible. Below five tips for surviving the holidays while struggling with an addiction are discussed.

1)    Avoiding known risks.  Understanding what may trigger or precede a relapse is crucial to preventing it. For example, if you have noticed that a member of your family often pressures you to drink at family parties, you should do your best to stay away from this family member. If it is impractical to avoid this person, then have a prepared response discussing your sobriety, in a way that is comfortable and natural to you.

2)    Have an escape plan. If you know you are likely to encounter a high-risk situation such as your being invited to a bar or an environment that may prompt a relapse have an escape plan. This plan may include going to a Twelve Step meeting or spending time with a sober friend or family member. An escape plan can also include “bookending” in which you have a phone call or exchange with a sponsor or someone in recovery before and after an event.

3)    Give thanks. Going into the holiday season take an inventory of what you are grateful for. Each day write a list of three things you are thankful for. Expressing gratitude does not mean focusing on material possessions. Rather, gratitude is an attitude that allows for a positive outlook on life as it is humbling to see the truth in your current situation

4)    HALT: Remember your Basic Needs. When we neglect our basic needs, we often become vulnerable to self-destructive behaviors including relapses. To remind yourself of your basic needs you can use acronym HALT. First, H refers to hungry. If you are skipping meals your blood sugar may be impacted causing an alteration in your mood. Second, A refers to anger. During the holiday season, it is important to increase your endorphins and reduce stress this can be done through meditation and exercise. Third, L refers to lonely. To combat this feeling, have a list of people who love and support you and your sobriety. Lastly, T stands for tired. The holidays often include many late nights. Ask yourself when the last time was you took a break and ensure that you get a full eight hours of sleep.

5)    Create new traditions. Everyone has customs and rituals when it comes to the holidays, however, many of them may include the use of substances. Allow yourself to create new traditions such as seeing a movie, going bowling, or visiting a museum.

Using these five strategies, individuals who are struggling with an addiction can be prepared to take on the holiday season. During the holidays, remember to support and listen to any family members or friends that are suffering from an addiction as it may make all the difference. 

Written by Mary Colins, LPC, CADC

Interview with Mary Collins, Licensed Professional Counselor in Oakbrook Terrace, IL

What do you enjoy about being a counselor?

I love being a counselor because I enjoy building a relationship that is based on a genuine connection. Within this relationship, it is rewarding to watch even when there are some bumps in the road. Watching my clients reach their goals and fulfill their potential is a fulfilling experience.

What specific issue(s) are you skilled at helping with?

I am skilled at working with a wide variety of mental health concerns. I am experienced in helping young adults and adults cope with chronic pain, chronic health issues, anxiety, and depression. I am also a certified addictions counselor and have worked with adolescents, young adults, and adults who struggle with substance abuse and other addictions.

What is my role as a counselor?

My role as a counselor is to help guide my clients down their intended path. My role is not to make decisions for my clients, but to help them recognize what their goals are and assist them in achieving them.

What is your view on the purpose of counseling?

I view counseling as an opportunity to take time for yourself and to get reacquainted with what you want out of your life. Counseling gives you support and motivation to work through your problems, rather than avoiding them.

How have your own life struggles helped you become the counselor you are today?

My own life struggles were what brought me to the field of counseling. As an adolescent and young adult, I struggled with chronic health issues that greatly impacted my life. I found myself needing help to manage these challenges and see the positive in the situation. Through this experience, I learned how difficult it can be to ask for help. This experience showed me that through having an empathic, caring, and safe environment, great change can occur.

What is your counseling focus?

I use a client-centered approach. This means that I allow the client to lead the session, so we can focus on what is important to them at that moment. I often supplement this with cognitive-behavioral techniques and motivational interviewing techniques. I do so to address irrational thoughts as well as encourage my clients to make the changes they envision.

Interview with Jennifer Herbert, Licensed Professional Counselor in Schaumburg, IL

What do you enjoy about being a counselor?

I enjoy having the opportunity to meet and build relationships with many types of people. Being a counselor, and providing support to clients who are experiencing personal struggles, is a privilege that I don’t take lightly.  I consider it an honor be a witness to each client’s story and to collaborate in finding solutions and a sense of comfort. 

What specific issue(s) are you skilled at helping with?

I’ve had specific training and experience with domestic violence and trauma. I have worked with young children using play therapy and also have experience working with adolescents and teens. In addition, I am skilled at working with people experiencing depression, anxiety, relationship issues, and self-esteem issues. 

What is my role as a counselor?

I view my counseling role as a collaborator who works alongside clients on their individual journeys. I provide perspective that allows clients to identify patterns in their behaviors as well as opportunities for growth and change. Ultimately, my role is to help clients achieve their goals. 

What is your view on the purpose of counseling?

I believe that clients seek counseling because they are struggling with problems that are causing unhappiness and/or distress, and they have become unmanageable. So, the purpose of counseling is to find ways to resolve or relieve those issues and regain a sense of emotional balance.

How have your own life struggles helped you become the counselor you are today?

I believe personal struggles lead to developing empathy for others, and mine have also enhanced my counseling techniques. As a child and into my teen and early adult years, I experienced social anxiety that would keep me from participating in many typical everyday activities. As an adult and a parent, I’ve experienced the challenges of living with a spouse and children with severe depression and anxiety. Additionally, I’ve endured the emotional roller-coaster of a having a child express suicidal thoughts and behaviors. 

What is your counseling focus?

I tend to be person- or client-centered in my approach. Each client comes in with his or her own unique set of circumstances. I work to meet each individual client’s needs with a tailored approach that may include a variety of modalities. 

5 Categories of Coping Mechanisms

Most people have probably heard of the term “coping mechanism,” which can loosely be described as “something to help someone get through a difficult time, experience, or emotion.” Different coping mechanisms work better for some people than they do others, but I’d also like to shed some light on how we might need different kinds of coping mechanisms based on what we need in that moment.

When I think of the different categories of coping mechanisms, there are five major ones that come to mind: physical, processing, relaxation, distraction, and wallowing.  

Physical: This might be for those who feel so anxious they just need to “work it out,” or those who feel so angry they just need to scream. Physical coping mechanisms are best when you need to “get it out” of your system or “shake it off.” Examples may include going for a walk, going for a run, boxing with a punching bag, screaming, or dancing. 

Processing: I would define processing coping mechanisms as the things that allow us to reflect directly upon that which is bothering us. Examples might include talking over the issue (as well as our thoughts and feelings about it) with a friend, family member, or other trusted individual like a therapist. Processing can also be done individually through journaling, talking about it out loud to ourselves (this might seem silly, awkward, or strange to others, but I promise that it can be a very effective way of coping for some people), or just sitting and thinking directly about the issue. 

Relaxation: Sometimes we are stressed and anxious about a situation, and we need to physically (and mentally) relax ourselves. This can be done by various means including yoga, deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, stretching, listening to calming music, taking a bath, coloring, drawing, or any other positive activity that you find relaxing. 

Distraction: Sometimes you just need a break from whatever it is that is bothering you. In some ways the opposite of processing is distraction. Examples may include binge watching a favorite TV show, going out with friends, watching videos on YouTube, scrolling through the various pages of social media, gardening, shopping, cooking, cleaning… anything that helps you to give your mind a break the current issue/stressor.  

Wallowing: Sometimes, we just need to sit in our sadness or just feel our feelings. This might include being sad, crying, watching sad movies or listening to sad music, laying in bed and doing nothing. It’s important not to get “stuck” in this “mode” for too long, but sometimes it’s important to “feel the feels,” even if they aren’t good ones. 

If you find yourself upset about a situation and in need of a coping mechanism, think about what you need in that moment. Do you need to directly process what’s going on, or do you need a distraction from it? Are you physically worked up about it and need to “get it our of your system” or would you feel better by relaxing your body? Once you identify what you need in that moment, you’ll be better able to identify the best specific coping mechanism that you need in that moment. 

Written by: Lauren Buetikofer, MA, LCPC